Animal Instincts

Before I could make it out to the herds, I was turned back. No one was allowed out on the plains. I felt this surge of something grip inside me when I heard about the larls. They were rumored to be unafraid of humans. I knew from my abilities with wild things that this was not going to turn out well. Animals have far more fear of us than we do of them. It is usually only in fear that they attack, believing they are protecting themselves. These were pure predator and they had tasted blood, fresh human blood. I looked out over the vast openness of the prairie as if I could see one of them. They were there, I could feel it. How could I feel them and not him when they had injured him? Yes I'd heard but I had not seen him to know. I felt a trickle of anxiety race through my veins. What was it Falon had said? He was a big boy, he could take care of himself. They had said that about the paga Master too.

I went to Palla's wagon to help her gather her salt for the rations. She is a real piece of work. She could arm wrestle a kur when she wanted to but now and then she had this ... misery that flared up. It kept her from doing a lot of things others needed her to do. This was going to be one of them. I saw to it her share was added in with the rest of the tribe's. She did share a recipe for curing meats that didn't use salt so it seemed more than fair. The rich spices would add flavor and keep it from spoiling.

For the next few days I was kept busy with helping see portions of the seasoning taken in. I only had a glimpse of raven, salt covered and inundated with stacking the stores to a wagon. She was collecting kisses along with the salt. I had to admire her for being consistent.

In the midst of it all, dissension had broken out among the ranks. No one seemed to big and brave enough to speak openly but the shielded whispers spoke of a change. How easily they forget the one that has kept them safe, kept them in bounty and prosperity. It enraged me to the core. Yes, I would relish more time with him but he gave of his all for his people and this was how they intended to pay homage? I wanted to stand atop one of the wagons and scream as loud as I could at them, scratch eyes out, pummel someone, something into the dust that blew through the camp. I wound up taking my frustrations out on a few furs that needed airing.

It was later in the hand when I ventured again fires to find him surrounded by more of the tribe than I can remember being gathered at one time. Great skies he looked like a sight for sore eyes. I was running to him and slid my arm around him to hold him tight. I thought I was offering an embrace to him. How quickly he cut through to the reality to show me my error. It reminded me of that first meeting when his blade had held against my throat. The tiny nick scalded deep, as deep as the words he had spoken tonight. In some ways he reminded me of those wild animals, lashing out when hurt. It was simply a matter of keeping watch to see which animal I was dealing with. For the moment I felt unsure if I was equal to the task. I could not see the resemblances in my own angers and those of his.

... bell. That hesitance again as he spoke the name.

Self doubt does not wear well on me. I was sent to serve others and would do so with pride. It was while I knelt at the side of another that he rose and left. This time he avoided the wagon completely. I would not, could not go to him. When none had more need of me, I went to see to other chores. I would find something to stay busy. I didn't whisper the same thing into the darkness tonight when I finally lay down to rest. Instead I whispered ...

I'll find you.

It was not a question. I tried too, to put the worry from my thoughts that time seemed to be running out or that maybe he didn't wish to be found.


When you're down and out
When you're on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I'll take your part.
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.