Metaphor

The woman gave me a ride back to the camp. We've spoken enough times together I knew she had something she wanted to talk about. I did too. There was something burning inside me that I needed someone to talk to about. The one person I really felt would understand and be able to talk to about it was the one person I couldn't talk to because it always tended to be a fiery conversation. See what I'm talking about?

She on the other hand was always open to talking to me. She brimmed with so much excitement now that she seemed to vibrate. We got the courtesies quickly out of the way. I'd been worried for her during her convalescence but I'd stayed at the outer wagons to help where needed most in her absence. I'd made a new medical pack to replace the one lost during the storm and se said she would see it filled for me. In exchange I offered to look after Mysterie for her.

I went straight to the point after that, medical supplies was not what was on her mind. I was right on target. It all came spilling out, climbing the wall and tumbling right over the other side. I listened to the breathless words of having surged beyond apprehension to speak openly of what she felt within, having exposed it, held it out to the light. I was so proud of her for having found the courage. Did she get a response? Not really, she said it had just been a long talk of the mechanics of love. She felt there were no rules when it came to love. If she had asked I would have told her how very much I disagreed with that concept but she began to recite her own rules in a rote fashion without realizing that she even had them. She was willing to accept both the wonders and the imperfections of another. I had to ask was she truly willing to accept the everything part as she had stated even if it might be beyond her imagining? Everything, I reminded her is sometimes far more than we can handle. The more that tumbled out, the more I felt my heart sink inside. I ached inside with the knowing that so many simply did not see, so many did not understand. I obviously don't have the all answers but I had this thread ... of what ... hope?

Now and then I would look back to where Kam had remained at the grove. I could see him shatter the bowl that held the life silencer against the tree. It seemed like a punctuation mark of a sort. I grew quiet for a little bit, merely brushing away stray wisps of my hair that had blown across my gaze making them mist over with the sting. I know she misunderstood when I began to talk to her about the saddle and the tack. It would feel like a change of subject, believing it was uncomfortable for me to talk about another woman's feelings for someone I care so deeply about. She offered some of her old gear for my use and I was appreciative of the gift. The topic led to touch on what I had stored up inside, what had me so fired up, breathless and was chomping at the bit to talk about. I began to paint a portrait of what I had seen. A magnificence with such fire in his soul he seemed to be aflame. He had looked right through me to the very depths of my soul and had set it ablaze as well. I was scared, I was excited at the same time. I had watched as it galloped away and I wanted ... I ...

What do you want bell? Could she comprehend what I was explaining? I didn't know but I tried. I wanted to experience it again. I heard in her words understanding but at the same time we spoke of altogether different planes. She offered her insights to what she thought I was speaking of ... the rawness and freedom? He breathes fire was my reply. Sounds like he took your breath away and drew you into him, to let you taste what he sees.

Yessssssss.

You saw something in him that you hold deep within yourself or something that you wish to feel for yourself? Both, all, everything. I want to run with him, breathe fire as well as feel that breath again. I thought she understood when she spoke more of my own thoughts .. that rawness that fills your your senses, that spirit unbridled, untouched, free.

I almost fell off the mount when she said she saw it in her own kaiila. I don't know if she caught the dry tone when I told her it is a very different wall. It was not one I wanted to climb and topple over. I wanted to sail slap over the top of it and kick it tumbling down behind me.