Sweet Skies

When you feel so close to some resolve,
You say the things that you're standing for,
Don't let your courage get dissolved,
'Cause it's then that the fear grows,
And you've got to find your balance,
You've got to realize,
You've got to try to find
what's right before your eyes, oh.
And if you find you're fallin',
And all your grace is gone,
Just scream for me and
I'll be what you're falling on
~Finger Eleven


I had hoped the dark recesses of my favored haunt would hold some answers for my fevered mind the following night. No matter how many pebbles I tossed over the bank into the darkness below, the plunk sound of their landings offered nothing in return but the notion they created ripples on the surface. The songs regardless of how softly I sang them held no soothing. Over the ahn I had turned my face up to the stars that were visible through the clouds ... searching ... for something when I heard the unmistakable scritch of taloned claws against stone. This was not the soft foot falls of one of the women but of a rider.

Adrenaline pumped through my bloodstream with a distinct headiness and I began reaching down my shin into the side of my boot where the bone dagger was hidden. Trying to find focus of the shadowed silhouette, my song faded lightly then began to change to a delicate lull like a serenade. I judged the distance back to the camp wondering if I could sprint that far, fast enough to evade whoever it was that was approaching. When I looked back, the light of the moons found grace enough to illuminate the warrior. I felt like a voyeur on a personal moment as he lifted his face to the sky. He spoke prayers in silence and I wondered for that moment if they had been anything similar to my own. There was no hurry to his movements while he turned those dark hues down to the water simply watching the ripples that my tiny stones had made. It was as if they reached out for him.

How was it that this vision could wash away the pain and anger as if it had never happened? How was it that I could forgive the hurt and fill the air with some whimsical tune in a matter of ihns? His settlement along the small outcrop of rock next to me meant that I had to shift forward to make room. We spoke for a bit of songs and the stars and if I wished on them that night as I usually do. His mount held my interest for a few moments and I asked what its name was. He never did truly answer. Instead he told me to ask the creature. I was put out that it had no response to my obvious charms but it was merely a matter of getting to know me. I was sure of that.

I should have risen and left even when he pointed out that it would not have appeared proper should someone happen by. There would be many things when this night was over that I could look back and say .. I should have this or that ... but I stayed because it was where I wanted to be. It had been my hand that breached the distance to touch his chest .. no matter how innocent the act had been meant. When he drew me closer I was certain that he would hear the roar that was deafening my ears. I tried to say something but it came out more like the sound of a child .. he had made us closer. I needed distance, I needed air. Would I like to get closer? I pulled away so that when he let go his hold, I fell flat on my bottom at the edge of the embankment.

I studied his hand when I drew it away from my cheek. It was laden with the evidence of a man that does not shun his responsibilities, that is no stranger to pulling his share within the Tribe. How fair and small mine seemed against it? Touching the creases with my fingertips, I was already putting all of this night to my memory. I flung his hand back to his lap while I scathed him for wishing nothing more than to sate his curiosity of a barbarian .. that it was not because he cared for me. How much closer he came as his breath washed over my features ... he was curious, yes, ... curious of every part of me. He didn't find this a bad thing. All that I could say came in my own half whisper was that I too was curious of him and didn't feel it was a bad thing either. Why did my head translate that he meant my heart and mind? A rake of his cheek roughly against mine set it afire with heat.

When he stood and turned away, I tried to find my footing and stand up as well. I was much too close to the edge by then and I felt the sand crumble beneath my boots. What a silly sight I had to have been with my arms flailing the air until my bottom made contact with the stream bed below. Was there a moment of altered deja vu? I have to hand it to the warrior. He went all heroic on me and jumped in to save me. I felt light as a feather as those arms circled around my waist and snatched me up from that icy chill. Leather against leather straining in every humanly possible meld ... that nearness was exhilarating and frightening at the same time. Not how either of us would have wished the moment though perhaps we both needed an icy bath.

It was then my hand ceased removal of the stray droplets that had dotted my face and was left covering my mouth ... spellbound. I studied his features, his scars, the lines of his jaw and his eyes. Ohhh ... those eyes. I heard him speak of thirst as they came closer and I felt the warmth of his mouth touch against mine. Reaching up to trace the cool of my fingers along his cheek, there was nothing that would have prevented my response. My breath filled his lungs so that I stood there totally breathless. Go ... protect our people .. the words came out in a rasp that galled my parched throat. As his head lifted once more to the sky, the echo of his voice felt like a rumble against my chest though it could not have been more than a whisper ... Sweet Skies. It was the same prayer that swelled within me.

With one heft, he took us both up the bank to more solid and definitely dryer footing. Should he leave me on the shore or see me home safely? I didn't trust either of us at the moment to continue a level head. I would walk. Harta ... Go before I follow you. The tang of his voice wasn't what raced the soaked boots across the path. It was trying to outrun the sound of my pulse.

Within the sanctum and privacy of my wagon once more, the agonies were crouched ready to consume me. I could blame no one by my own self for any of this night. The leather clung to me like a shroud making the peeling away of the wet layers like rending away my own flesh until at last I stood in the puddle left of the stream's embrace ... shivering. How could I have let any of this happen? What kind of friend was I? The oddity of it all was that once I curled beneath my furs ... I slept soundly.