How Real Did You Want?

I'd held a new born child in my arms. I'd seen the beauty and wonder of love light the faces of a newly mated couple. I'd seen the sorrow of a brother loss, a mate's loss, a friend's loss ... too many in just one hand. I'd seen a slave freed and a freewoman bend her knees. I'd seen the spirit of a wild animal bend. All within less days than numbers of the list they contained.

Of it all none of them compared to the plain shock Cana handed me with a few simple words.

Me Too was back.

It affected me more than I tried to let on to anyone.

When he left he looked so much the portrait of a man child on the brink of stepping into his future. Happy, carefree, laughing. Serious, ready to take on the world and the sky itself. Courageous, and brave.

It had taken everything I had within me to be able to serve Me Too, to offer the gentleness of a mother's love, the wisdom and the caring to one I felt deep in my heart and head was not all he seemed to be. I had tried to speak to Cana and even Fonce once of the things that I'd seen just as I had spoken to Fonce again about them recently. There was no evidence of it, not then, not now, not anything anyone else had truly seen.

The fact that Cana had asked me to visit the boy and be there for him was pretty much proof of what she felt. He was a lost lonely little orphan that had no one there for him. She had said she thought he had missed me and wanted me to spend time with him. She knew it would be hard but felt that he loved me very much and that love would be there no matter what. I didn't ask what she meant when she said he would be the easiest to convert. It didn't make sense but then my head was buzzing with more emotions and thoughts than I could keep up with.

There was so much that had changed while he was gone. I was angry, I was torn, I was happy, I felt a deep sinking inside knowing I was going to have to face him. I didn't hesitate to assure her I would, well I did a little. The tread of my boots seemed to echo through the rows as I made my way past Rook's wagon. My heart was pounding as I reached up to rap lightly on the side of the flap. When I stepped inside I will never forget that look. The flicker of something bright that died a slow death and darkened to a cold cruel narrowed glint. I felt as if something inside died with it.