As part of each other

I wanted, needed someone to share this overflow of feelings with. If I could not share the shadows or the darkness then please please let me be able to release some of this wonderment with someone. I wanted to run to find him and circle him in peeling giggles and delighted squeals, to share with him how good it felt to have accomplished something. I ran through the rows of wagons, hoping for just one glimpse of the person I wanted to share everything with. How angry or upset it made anyone else didn't matter to me at the moment. I looked and I looked feeling the momentum beginning to fade. It wasn't his steps that I found my feet prancing to in the end. I went where the lure drew me. It was somewhere I had not expected to end up but as I dropped to the ground at the bottom of the last riser and the melody that had been wafting through the harigga became a breathless tangle of unstoppable excitement.

Sweet Tarra. How her eyes lit with tender amusement, listening to it all, encouraging every last drop with the small phrases .. yes? ... You did? How did you do? I just let it all pour out over her as naturally as it came. Wonderful! She was smiling with the kind of smile that lights up the eyes. Yes it was wonderful. The scent so familiar began to tickle beneath my nose ring and at last I looked around. I had interrupted something even though she offered reassurance I hadn't. Even if my fingers never dared to touch the bits of leather, the bundle of sage or the scattering of beads, nothing was left out of my exploring eyes. She knew I had overdone the day with the wince as I moved to sit next to her. I couldn't refuse her beckon any more than the one that had drawn me here in the first place.

You are creating ... I left off the rest having seen prime example of the finished product I noticed here now. She said that the design in the leather would eventually be little boots. I tried to see what she saw through her eyes while she spoke affectionately of how Cana was using the old ways to teach the clan. The practice on your own mount as proof of the skills we were learning. If I wished she would show me how to become one with the animal and for a moment I had to seek the depths of her eyes for the meaning behind her offer. It had a ring to of it of something beyond just the rise and fall of hips in the saddle. Yes. Yes, I would like that. I would know when it was time. Those words didn't seem out of place but understood in a strange way that left me with a sense of peace rather than impatient frustration. Her question of whether I knew how to use a bow and arrow did leave my cheeks a bit washed in color. The last time I had used one was when I was a young girl and it was nothing more than a toy. It seemed enough so that she could continue to ask more. Where did I come from? There is no secret to my origins so that left the topic open for more detail. I began to tell her about the mystical place along the coastline, a place where blankets of fogs and mists rolled over swamps, moss dripped from trees like the twines of serpents ready to plummet. I spoke of the lonesomeness and of the woods and sea that had been my only friends. I look almost the epitome of my mother and try as much as I might I could not see any of my father in me. I have never wanted to so if there was, I refused to see it. There was much of my mother I didn't want to emulate. I loved her dearly but could not see relinquishing the fire of the spirit until there was nothing left but .. nothing.

Reaching out to bring her to me, I delved into who she was, what she was like, wanting so much to know her more. It began by mentioning the mandala she had sent. I knew it was powerful. All doubts of what its purpose was for was brushed away. She spoke of having given me what is part of me. Her belief that she would somehow shock me, somehow didn't. There was much I didn't fully understand but I knew there was nothing she should say or do now that would create more than a blink .. or two. I'm blunt at times, not meaning to pry too deep or to hurt but like another I knew she kept so much of herself guarded .. why did she allow me to be close when she did not others? It was simple. Because I had reached out, without reservation wanting to know. She placed in my hands and in my heart secrets that she shared with only few others. Those I would not nor will not share. They are hers, not mine to give away.

She knew how much love I had for one and wished he could see it. She was concerned of my heart, not wanting to see it crushed. An easy enough reassurance, my heart is still very much strong. I did not tell her it is stronger than even I understand. I have not given up on believing in him. How deeply she cares for him as a friend, as her Ubar was touching. We piqued on the topic of blue. She had tried to speak with Fonce of it and he had hurt her in his anger. Even still she is afraid that there was one that would hurt him, hurt him deeply. Had she not seen, one already had?

Still, there was this deep sense of longing that each could see, we all have something more in common. Maybe not just them but our people as a whole. As part of each other, the unity of our combined strengths could face whatever came. Two is strong, three is a braid unbreakable, imagine the strength of the mighty Tuchuk united as one. It didn't feel like the soft spoken voice of youth that answered her but an ancient one that betrayed more years than just one lifetime. She must rise above his anger and her own, to give in to it gives it power. He has to learn as well and that, that alone will hurt him more than anything or anyone. He has not learned because there was always someone there to offer bandage to the wounds he makes in himself, but no one ever sees to the wound. He covers it with a sling of anger.

Those safer subjects did not afford much safety for either of us when we turned to talk of our families. She knew what depths a mother's love could feel in the turning loose. For me in the beginning, becoming a slave was escape from things I could not race far enough through the galaxy to get away from, only to find they were welcoming committee right here when I arrived. I knew I could not remain a slave. What was it I saw behind those dark eyes of hers when she told me that was not my destiny. That I had become so much more than now than I knew. Who I was ... and what I want.

I ventured carefully to tell her there had been someone there with me to look over me when I was a child, to watch over me. I wanted her to know that I felt it was time to give back. Whatever it was. In time she reassured me, in time I would know until then she wanted me to know that just being me gave much all on its own. And in the softest of voices, like the whisper of a wind she told me I still had someone looking over me, whether I knew it or not. How quiet her voice was when she said he protected me still.

Then could she tell him I needed a good sit down talk? .. could she tell him for me?
I wasn't ready to hear what she said next ... 'I think you know how to do that'