Warm wine

I'd spent the day cleaning and oiling tack down at the pens and shaking out sacks to dry on a rail. A remnant of oil clung to my palm and I rubbed it in. These were not the creamy soft hands of a silk slave any more. They were showing evidence of work in callouses and a bit of crackle from the weather. It wasn't a vain moment seeing them but one of satisfaction and a touch of smile lingered on my lips as I sought out Cana.
There was a much different feel to the gathering that evening. Cozy, affectionate. There were jests and playful ribbing, relaxed conversations and re-acquainting for some. Affirmations of tenderness between couples, testing the waters between potential lovers .. not in a sexual sense but in an intimate one ... a dance of possessiveness, protectiveness that dipped and swayed gracefully with confidence and arrogant spiritedness. Wagers for pots and how small they should be when payed tumbled into other topics from matchmaking to less than perfections including eye burgers and tangles in the morning and the compromises gained and lost in mating. They spoke of the joys of simply being Tuchuk. Noya phrased it best ... bosk in the morning, leather till the evening, meals by the fire.
I'm not used to people speaking of my redeeming qualities, in fact I am not used to anyone speaking of me at all. It felt alien to hear Cana talk to Tarra of discovering latent talents I possessed with the kaiila. It was the haruspex that produced a new descriptive .. personality. She said I had the personality for working with them. When Cana said that I had a quietness about me when I am with them it was the first time that being quiet felt good, felt right, instead of strange.
The night was ending much too soon as I watched pairs begin to filter away to the wagons, some with a reluctance to part and find themselves alone in their own. I was a little bird perched on a window sill able to see those around me in their contented moments. A suitable title of the evening, whether serving it or the aromatic wrap of comforting sweetness was warmed wine.
As the ahns grew later it was just the kaiila Mistress and a Master I'd not actually met yet. All I knew of him was that he liked his wine like Noya did. Introductions were made of Cana's nephew which put me more at ease. It was a sure fire ice breaker to inquire about his kaiila. I wanted more responsibilities and knowing there were new beasts at the pens put everything into place. There was an intelligent mare named Bluesky and a not so intelligent stallion named ... it still cracks me up to say it .. Dumbass. I didn't even get the chance to ask when she told me I could help care for them. Bluesky needed lots of tlc and the other .. she said ... needed to be thwapped upside the head now and then.
For a while the conversation was theirs, quests for wisdom that Cana is most sought after for was left to them and them alone. Affairs of the heart that needed no prying eyes to invade set me off to build the fire up more. When the man rose to return to his wagons, I offered sincerity with my farewell. Sometimes the honesty of my words scald raw places left exposed without meaning to, sometimes they are taken as they are meant .. genuine .. real .. offering hope.
With only the Mistress and I remaining at the fires, I touched on many of the things I had not had chance to say or ask. The riddle I'd been handed would start to unfold here. Regardless of who I belonged to, I was in serve to the Mistress, her family, her clan and until I was dismissed I would give her, her family, her clan my all in that service. Without Me Too, I hadn't been sure .. confidently sure of what was expected of me. Was a part of my esteem rolled up in the question, "Do you still want me, still need me"? It is what most slaves ask before asking for release, a precursor. She said she will always have need of me and I found a great comfort in those words until she asked was I happy in my work at the pens? happy ... happy ... happy ... happy ... It echoed in my head. It touches me that she is concerned but how am I supposed to answer that in all honesty? It offers me challenge, it offers me something to do with my time, with my hands .. yes yes .. sounding like a broken record I enjoy the work, it is hard but has its rewards, I am ... content when I am around animals. I have happy moments but did it truly answer her question? I know where I feel happiest, where those moments are more intense even if they can be just as fleeting as the ones with the kaiila but I was not there. I was not ready to make another choice I would have to live with but it so felt as if I was already moving down a different fork in the road. I can honestly say that looking up into that beautiful face and hearing what she had to say touched me deeply. "I have grown quite accustomed to having you
around my fires, and I do not wish for that to change. You please me."
We spoke more of the beasts, a love we both share, an ability that comes natural for us both. I mentioned the shaggy critter with the matted fur and half torn ear only to find there was a story behind him, one that she didn't know all of yet. It had something to do with saving Fonce's life. And as part of explaining that the beast was not to be put out of its misery was a warning to steer clear of him .. he was dangerous. I was thinking surely Falon had some kind of herb or tea that would cure his ails. The subject was left hanging in mid air when I went off to serve Master Ramza and Cana headed off to her furs.
It was as if he had been curled up in the bottom of that warmed wine glass in a quietness of his own. He seems so pensive of late that I told him point blank ... He should have a feisty mate to put a big smile on his face. He never batted a lash when he answered, "Perhaps you are right, bell, but I am happy as I am right now."
There was that word again.