Maybe a little test, hmmm?

I went to a garden party to reminisce with my old friends ... ~ Ricky Nelson

The past few days had been an interesting garden party banquet. Bits and pieces of them remind me of the Country Club Tea Society, where it is best to take small nibbles of the faire in front of you. It could be pate or it could be your heart, head or better yet .. some delicate part of a dear friend served with grated zest. Does it mean that when the rise of cloth napkins touch so gracefully at the corners of the mouth in unison around the dining table, mine has any less vestiges of canary on them than any others? No. I will say that it was not a tasty or filling meal nor one that I have any wish sitting down to again. I've never cared for Meatloaf, served hot or cold. I've never liked Tea Parties.

The camp had been abuzz for some time now with many rumors, not just the obvious ones. The questions had been volleyed around on everyone's behalves of why this, why that? The bottom line is this ... when a man stands firm that he wants what he wants ... he will ... get what he wants. A heart, like water, will in the end find its own level. Whose sole's tread what path to what wagon and how many times isn't necessarily what killed the grass. Some fires burn high and bright only to end up small coals in the morning. Some fires are fed slowly over time so that they are both warmth and a source of light. These are simply my opinions though the affairs of others are not truly any of my business, any more than mine is any of theirs.

I believe I've already mentioned something about those subjects that might have enough missing pieces you could embarrass yourself jumping into the middle of. Look before you leap, think before you speak.

As for the rest of the past few days, I've been handed two more tests. Ones that were lain out in plain sight instead of the careful scrutiny of what I do or do not do that is judged either fairly or harshly according to the voyeur at the moment.
One was accepted graciously knowing it could be accomplished. A partnership of leadership skills. Akasha and I both would oversee the herds while Cana was away on her trip. We each have our strengths with the kaiila and should have no trouble in working together.

The other precariously layered on so many levels that it appears a Kobayashi Maru. Can I, Should I, Will I become The Lovely Fairy with Azure Hair or The Blue Fairy .. that is the question, more than, will Pinocchio become a real boy? Or for that matter which boy is Pinocchio.

Tests ... there are many in societies, those you see and those you don't. I'd been told that the hardest ones are the ones you never see coming. I've been told the hardest ones you pass are those that knock you slap on your ass and you still get up again.

Had I passed the unseen tests? Loyalty? Strength of heart? Independence? Resilience? I'm still standing. It was coming to the point that the pass or fail did not matter. What was growing extremely important to me now was when the smoke rises from my pyre whether it is today, tomorrow or when I grow old and gray that I had not just upheld the law not to draw blood of another Tribe member but stood with both feet on the ground behind them or beside them, not taller because it was on the heads or hearts of even one of my people.

If that is seen as weak then I confess ... I am.