Outside the Inside

When Ramza and I found that floral meadow on the drive north and first began talking, he had shared a story with me that I still remember fondly. He told me the inspiration for the murial he had inside his wagon. In turn I told him what I would put on the inside of mine. It was a what if .. way back then but it had stuck with me and begun to take shape and even shift in its shape until now.

If I had a wagon .. I had begun ... I would paint a window inside that looked out over the open plains so that I could always see them, like he described. It had surprised him in a way, thinking I would have painted a treehouse like the one I described to him of my childhood. I guess in a way it still was ... looking out of that treehouse window over the world. But I knew ... I knew then I was going to have a place of my own, even back then.

The concept has altered since that time to something different, at least for what would be on the outside. It was the bit of paisley, the swatch of a quilt, it was the combination of stories, the tapestry of families, friends and loved ones all combined that I wanted there on the outside. I wanted the handprints of everyone that has touched me since I came here all over the entire surface. The smallest ones that were often my inspirations such as Tug, Wiley, Patch, Me Too and Wit. Those that have made vast impressions such a Cana, Tarra, Aiyana, and more. I wanted those who were at times a mystery like Fonce, Polunu, T'suri, Ina and maybe even Ts'ya. There would be those that have offered part of their strengths such a Kam, Chay, Garyx and Lochlan. People who have intrigued me like Sahli, Jaella, Seth and Silken or touched me like Jai, Noya, and Trilock. I wanted the ones that gave of themselves like raven, blue, sleen or offered love and kindness like Falon and Akasha. There were so many that I could go on and on adding to the list and I will as others come into my life. They have all become my family and I was beginning to see just how far reaching mine was.

It was what I had asked ... to have the handprints of my family displayed all over the outside of my wagon so that here they could join me ... reaching for their dreams just as I am. I know some have what they call their nightmare wagons ... I wanted a dream one.

There is already a series of small ones in a rainbow of colors dancing around the canvas now and all I have to do is get the paint washed off those tiny little hands before their Momma's see it. Ditzy me, didn't think about water resistant paint being like a permanent marker.