Porcelain Statue

Sometimes glass glitters more than diamonds because it has more to prove.
~Terry Pratchett

'When you interact with another, an illusion is part of this dynamic. This illusion allows each soul to perceive what it needs to understands in order to heal'. None of the irony to any of this escapes me. Here are the truths ... I was not a snow white southern belle trying to fit into a dark world of slavery to right the wrongs of the universe. I was not a transparent paper doll traveling space and time trying to draw in enough breath to become real because it would save a foreign world. I wasn't a one night wonder of a butterfly wriggling from her cocoon simply for the amusement of the Skies nor was I some fragile satin smooth porcelain statue frozen in some forgotten garden because an ancient curse went terribly horribly wrong .. for the comic book heroes or their nemeses.

A series of events throughout my lifetime allowes me to be aware of things that others do not notice .. a feeling of connection. It is something I enjoy sharing with those that seem to sense it and show interest. A series of events led me on what to some is a bizarre journey to a place and a people that I feel comfortable among no matter how uncomfortable it may feel at times both to me and to them as we acclimate to the new situations. It is a progressive relationship. I can no more close my eyes and will them away than they can me. That is beacuse this is real. I am real. They are real.

It was just so frustrating that each time I tried to step outside of the glass display to reach out, there is some pre-conceived interpretation of my actions. To some it is called curiosity, to some it is prejudice, to some it an issue of control. Being a reactionary woman I let each of those focuses define the moment. When under scrutiny I felt like an exhibit, when it was magnification of difference I would look for the flaws right along with everyone that was peeping through the looking glass. I gave in to dominance with my submissive nature without challenging whether or not it was in healthy proportions. That was not merely the matter of Masters and Slaves but of people and situations as a whole.

The skies may have an idea of what it expects of me but I am the one that still live each of my days and it is how I choose to do so that directs my path. Not destiny, not people, not circumstances.

There are a great many things I do not understand, some I may never find the enlightenment behind but that is as simple as why the grass knows how to grow and may be as complex as what truly connects one something with another ... something.
I came here in what seemed like a dream of being a pale illusion of someone else's dreams ... seeking that feeling of connection .. mine .. and theirs. That is not the whole of who I am but it is comething that still has meaning. As I reach for the future I want that to be part of what I take with me ... only I don't want to be some pale illusion any more than I want them to be part of a fading mist.

We are all slave to something.

As I finally fell asleep, I was singing to everything I felt connected to ...

I have to be honest
As much as I wanted
I'm not gonna promise
that the cold winds won't blow
So when hard times have found you
And your fears surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone ~ Lady Antebellum